19 October 2008

Being a student is fun. Uni rocks. My classes are pretty cool too. Sadly we've just finished organic chemistry (one test left, but no more classes) so for the next two weeks I only have biochemistry and math (and lab). I like math. Don't like the prof though. And the fact that we've learned just about nothing so far. Other people in my class have though - apparently they hardly learn anything about vectors at secondary school in the Netherlands. Needless to say - we do in Norway! So I'm ahead of the others in my class :D

Not in biochem though. Personally I think it's an insult to call that class bio*chem*. There's not much chemistry in it. It's biology. There was a bit about amino acids that actually had a little bit of chemistry in it, but apart from that it's all been tRNA, mRNA, 5'-3' direction, ribosomes... WTF. Gimme some formulae, please, or I'll go mad!!!

Meh. Just a couple more weeks and I'll have physical chemistry. Hurray!

I'm still camping at my uncle's. It's insanely difficult to find a room - there are organisations but they have waiting lists from here to Tokyo. And if you want to avoid the waiting lists you have to know the right people. I check for room ads pretty much every day and ask other students if they know anything, but so far no luck.
Ah well. Could've been worse. My uncle lives in the city centre - it takes me less than 15 minutes to bike to uni. And I've just bought a couple of big fluffy pillows. Unfortunately I have no one to throw them at :(

Also, I'm nearly finished with the chapter outline for NaNo! I know who the murderer is, I know why s/he killed Jeeves and I sorta know how Trenchcoat will figure it out. I can't wait to start writing, especially these chapters:

14. Cicero arrives. Lots of speeches. Cook blows up kitchen while trying to make pancakes. Tomatoes revolt. Cicero tries to save Republic by giving speeches and is killed by a particularly vicious tomato.

15. Characters go on strike because this novel is turning out seriously WEIRD

Yep. That's pretty much how I outline.

Just two more weeks. Aaaaaargh.... mfgdfgrbldf.

4 October 2008

The dare list for NaNo08 just keeps on growing, lol!

Dare: Have a character who always carries a towel with him/her.
BP: It's an MC
DBP: The character is hitchhiking at some point in the novel
TBP: It's vital to the plot
QBP: The towel's blue
Two Plates of Cookies and three Cakes: The character has read Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

Oh I would so love to include an Evil Llama.....

Here be another dare I have happiley thought of:
At some point in your story, include the appearance of a random zoo animal
-BP if no one but your MC notices it
-DBP if no one beleives your MC when they start shouting about it
-TBP if, after a long period of time where the MC tries to prove their sanity, the other characters finally see the animal
-TBP and a fair trade biscuit if they then think nothing of it and never mention it again, to the MC's exasperation

-Have someone wearing moose antlers
BP if the character does it so s/he can wear several different hats at once
DBP if other characters use the antlers as a hat and/or coatrack

-Have a character compose a song about what they're doing at the moment
BP if in the middle of the song, they sing, "And I have no idea why the hell I'm singing!"

Have a group of your characters get severely lost in a bus system.
Bonus points if this is late at night.
Double bonus if it's because the subways already closed, and they were forced to take a bus.

One of your character's responses to every problem is always "Ninjas. Ninjas always did it."
BP if at one point in the novels it actually was ninjas. And everyone's still shocked.
TP if the character is actually a ninja working undercover, but nobody realises.
QP if the character disappears into the shadows every chapter, and is so ninja-like everyone reading it could have worked it out by now, but all the characters are blind.
A cookie if by the end of the book, the ninja character suddenly gains chronic amnesia and has forgotten everything about ninjas. Completely.

Have kung-fu fighing hamsters appear with appropriate theme music.

Have a character knit a sexy turkey hat ( http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=sr_gallery_11&listing_id=746646...) and have it be intergral to the plot.

Have a possessed poodle named Fifi.

I dare someone to include an "evil spork of doom"
BP- if the spork makes the character who holds it kill any passing characters
DBP- if you also include a "good spork of health" which brings back to life characters killed by the evil spork
TBP- if this has absolutely no relevance to your plot
QBP and a cookie- if it is random passerby's that hold the sporks

- Have an attack of the killer tomatoes somewhere in your story.
- BP if it becomes a main plot point/the MC's motivation for whatever their primary goal is.
- DBP if, once the tomato rebellion has been quelled, another vegetable/fruit rises up to take their place.

"I knight thee Sir Simpleton" - a very simple man whose every word is very profound or at least important to the plot
BP if he actually is a knight
TBP if he carries a sword on his hip - no matter what time he lives in

Have a character who always wears and ugly mickey-mouse watch.
Bonus Points: If the person is usually at the height of fasion.
Double Bonus Points: If the watch has no sentimental value to the person wearing it.
Triple Bonus Points: If the watch doesn't even work.
Quadrupal Bonus Points: If the person wearing the watch doesn't know that it doesn't work and consults it often.
Bonus Points to the power of Five: If the other characters also forget that the watch doesn't work and continually ask that character what time it is.
Bonus Points to the power of Six: If the event of the person saying the wrong time is a major plot point.
Bonus Points to the Seventh Power and a Cookie: If the person never finds out that the watch doesn't work.

Have your characters continually waking up in bath tubs.
BP if they never know how they got there.
DBP if it's always a different tub.
TBP if each time, the character(s) immediately worry about their kidneys, even if they are in no discomfort and the bath tub is empty.
EPIC WIN if each time, the character(s) immediately check their ankle(s) for chains or cuffs.

Have one of your character start singing Beatles' songs at random points in the story.
*BP* if this is your MC.
*TBP* if this person looks like a Beatles' member.
*QBP* if this person has never seen/heard of "Across the Universe".

Have a character get his/her hands on a large load of fireworks.
*BP* if the character is a pyromaniac.
*DBP* if this becomes a major plot point.
*TBP* if the fireworks go off at random and unwelcome times.
*QBP and a brownie* if your story ends with all the remaining fireworks going "BOOM!"

"I will smack you on the head with a rubber chicken."
"I'd laugh. And then I'd run."
"Darn time warps..."
"Carnies smell like cabbage."
"I swear to drunk, I'm not God."
"Ah, Denny's, a friend of nighttime golf course wanderers."
"You, my friend, are frighteningly eloquent on the subject of cannibalism."
"Good evening sir and or madam."
"You know what would be cool? Like, if you had a fake eye and dinner conversation was getting boring? You could take your fork and jab it in your eye!"
"When life gives you lemons, glue them to your bra."
"If I can't hear your opinions they don't matter!"
"Stop opening portals to hell!"
"Optimus Prime is a revolutionary. Like a vegetarian."
"Have you ever given a zombie caffeine? They have plenty of character."
"You don't eat fungus unless it's cooked in an omelette."
"Your hair just makes everyone hungry. It's a good thing."
"I laugh at man pain."
"That one's fat and it says 29."
"No! I love you! I only bite you 'cause I think you're delicious!"
"Ha! I was right! That is my ovary!"
"I think you just tried to spell 'small' without an m."
"My dead body would appreciate that."
"And then I remembered I had a nose."
"I'd share my liver but not my food."
"Now imagine if you had tongues for feet."

Have hippies stroll into your novel!
BP if they take over your MC's lawn.
DBP if your MC can't get them to leave, but eventually "adopts" them

Use the phrase: "If it's too loud, turn it down!"

Have a garden gnome appear in the background at least once in every chapter

Hm.... I almost feel sorry for my characters. Almost. Still have no idea who actually killed the damn butler though.

Also, I'm really enjoying the research involved for this novel. Just got the complete second series of Poirot on dvd. Mwahahaha.

Btw, have adopted a pineapple.

2 October 2008


The best thing about not writing a serious historical fiction book this year (not that I've ever written serious hist.fic...) is that I can use as many dares as I want. Might even write an entire novel consisting only of dares.
The NaNoWriMo server has collapsed, but I managed to get quite a few dares into my zulupad file before the forums disappeared...

Have a character lose one really expensive shoe only to have to replace it with a really ugly shoe.
BP - if the character walks around with the mismatched shoes throughout the entire novel.
DBP - if the shoe is a major plot point.

I dare you to solve a problem McGuyver style, using only a rubber-band, a paperclip and toothpaste.
BP if the Main Character has a mullet.
DBP if the setting doesn't lend to modern office technology (ex. feudal Europe)
TBP if the solved problem leads to world destruction.

I dare you to include a character named Someone.
Bonus if his name is equally nondescript
A cookie if no one ever gets confused except ONE CHARACTER, and no one ever understands how that one character gets confused.

Have a character who is building a wall out of a random object (in my case it was anvils, but go wild)
BP if this wall is important to the plot
DBP if this character isn't an MC
TBP if this character only appears at random moments to steal above-mentioned random item

Have your character go to the library to get some obscure book,
and when she/he opens it up, there’s an extremely old piece of thin sliced
ham between two of the pages.

"Oh come on, it's not rocket science, you know"
"Actually, it is"

Have a character who is totally obsessed with a colourful assortment of wax crayons and constantly carries them in their pocket throughout the novel.
BP if the crayons somehow save the characters from danger.
DBP if they somehow become integral to the plot.
TBP if after being saved by awesome colourful crayons, the characters decide they must be magic, mash them up into dust, and snort them while singing tribal chants, backwards.

Character one: Be careful with that! It's a very toxic and corrosive chemical!
Character two: Your MOM is a very toxic and corrosive chemical.
Character one: Be that as it may...

Have a character die in a freak trombone accident.

Include a narcoleptic bird somewhere in the story, and have your characters carry out a deep philosophical discussion about the futility of human existence and the ephemeral nature of life itself in reference to the bird.
Bonus Points: If the bird was once a major character OR is central to the plot of the story.
Double Bonus Points: If they later eat the bird.
Triple bonus: parrot sketch (added that myself, yaay)

Have a character who finishes every sentence with "...according to the prophecy."

I dare you to include four characters called Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody.
BP if they are quadruplets and your MCs (well, not my MCs, but they'll be around)
DBP if at one point you include the line "it was nobody's fault" and Nobody runs off crying.
TBP if name confusion leads to a major plot point.

You built THAT in your room?"
"I could hardly build it in the kitchen, could I?"

"This is the biggest cock up in the history of things cocking up."

Include a ghost that isn't unfriendly, isn't particularly friendly either, doesn't communicate much with the living, and just generally tolerates the people living in his house.
BP if he turns on the radio, just because he likes music
DBP if he takes occasional showers
TBP if the people living in his house (or place or whatever) know about him, and just say "Oh yeah, that was the ghost" like it's nothing weird

Describe a game of imaginary badminton

Describe a game of "midnight scrabble" (which is best played slightly tipsy)

Include a vegetarian who will eat pepperoni, bacon, and anything from Subway.
BP if this person considers these exceptions "food from the gods"
DBP if this person also won't eat other random things because "duh, I'm a vegetarian"
i.e. "have some guacamole" "are you serious? I'm a vegetarian"

Write one whole chapter in the form of text message conversation transcript

Include a character who always knows what's going to happen next
BP if no one thinks this is weird
DBP if no one listens anyway
TBP and a sprinkled donut if later, when the person turns out to be right, they point it out and no one believes them.