2 October 2008

Dares!

The best thing about not writing a serious historical fiction book this year (not that I've ever written serious hist.fic...) is that I can use as many dares as I want. Might even write an entire novel consisting only of dares.
The NaNoWriMo server has collapsed, but I managed to get quite a few dares into my zulupad file before the forums disappeared...

Have a character lose one really expensive shoe only to have to replace it with a really ugly shoe.
BP - if the character walks around with the mismatched shoes throughout the entire novel.
DBP - if the shoe is a major plot point.

I dare you to solve a problem McGuyver style, using only a rubber-band, a paperclip and toothpaste.
BP if the Main Character has a mullet.
DBP if the setting doesn't lend to modern office technology (ex. feudal Europe)
TBP if the solved problem leads to world destruction.

I dare you to include a character named Someone.
Bonus if his name is equally nondescript
A cookie if no one ever gets confused except ONE CHARACTER, and no one ever understands how that one character gets confused.

Have a character who is building a wall out of a random object (in my case it was anvils, but go wild)
BP if this wall is important to the plot
DBP if this character isn't an MC
TBP if this character only appears at random moments to steal above-mentioned random item

Have your character go to the library to get some obscure book,
and when she/he opens it up, there’s an extremely old piece of thin sliced
ham between two of the pages.

"Oh come on, it's not rocket science, you know"
"Actually, it is"

Have a character who is totally obsessed with a colourful assortment of wax crayons and constantly carries them in their pocket throughout the novel.
BP if the crayons somehow save the characters from danger.
DBP if they somehow become integral to the plot.
TBP if after being saved by awesome colourful crayons, the characters decide they must be magic, mash them up into dust, and snort them while singing tribal chants, backwards.


Character one: Be careful with that! It's a very toxic and corrosive chemical!
Character two: Your MOM is a very toxic and corrosive chemical.
Character one: Be that as it may...

Have a character die in a freak trombone accident.

Include a narcoleptic bird somewhere in the story, and have your characters carry out a deep philosophical discussion about the futility of human existence and the ephemeral nature of life itself in reference to the bird.
Bonus Points: If the bird was once a major character OR is central to the plot of the story.
Double Bonus Points: If they later eat the bird.
Triple bonus: parrot sketch (added that myself, yaay)

Have a character who finishes every sentence with "...according to the prophecy."

I dare you to include four characters called Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody.
BP if they are quadruplets and your MCs (well, not my MCs, but they'll be around)
DBP if at one point you include the line "it was nobody's fault" and Nobody runs off crying.
TBP if name confusion leads to a major plot point.

You built THAT in your room?"
"I could hardly build it in the kitchen, could I?"

"This is the biggest cock up in the history of things cocking up."

Include a ghost that isn't unfriendly, isn't particularly friendly either, doesn't communicate much with the living, and just generally tolerates the people living in his house.
BP if he turns on the radio, just because he likes music
DBP if he takes occasional showers
TBP if the people living in his house (or place or whatever) know about him, and just say "Oh yeah, that was the ghost" like it's nothing weird

Describe a game of imaginary badminton

Describe a game of "midnight scrabble" (which is best played slightly tipsy)

Include a vegetarian who will eat pepperoni, bacon, and anything from Subway.
BP if this person considers these exceptions "food from the gods"
DBP if this person also won't eat other random things because "duh, I'm a vegetarian"
i.e. "have some guacamole" "are you serious? I'm a vegetarian"

Write one whole chapter in the form of text message conversation transcript

Include a character who always knows what's going to happen next
BP if no one thinks this is weird
DBP if no one listens anyway
TBP and a sprinkled donut if later, when the person turns out to be right, they point it out and no one believes them.

novembernovembernovemberNOVEMBER!!!

2 comments:

Gabriele C. said...

OK, when the site's back up, you'll have to join the Trebuchet club as well. You shouldn't have a problem fitting a trebuchet in you novel. :)

It's the only one I do, because well, I do have sieges and stuff anyway.

Smarty said...

Oh, this'll be awesome! Trenchcoat and Plimsoll will be besieged in the gardener's cottage by the mad old ladies from the village who don't want them to cancel the village festival!